Icon Solutions, NBC 3

How does one collect a court judgment from a wealthy, recalcitrant opponent? No doubt there was some legal mechanism, but that route is for suckers. Rothbaum was probably right; it would probably have consumed more time and effort than the judgment was worth, with my opponents' lawyer-underlings obstructing me every step of the way.

If you find yourself in this situation, don't turn to the law. That's for rich folks. What you do is threaten the respectability of your opponent. And you needn't keep your voice to a whisper. In written correspondence, use "c.c." liberally. Your opponent, who would have welcomed legal measures that his lawyers could discreetly handle, will find this insufferable.

His first instinct will be to have you assassinated. "What's all my goddamn money for?" he will think. But his more cool-headed advisors, perceiving a risk of their client imprisoned and their gravy train derailed, will probably counsel against this option.

Whatever the backroom deliberations, the following letter promptly produced a cheque, via express courier, for the full amount owing:

March 16, 1998

Mort Goldman & John Louchheim
Chiefs
Icon Solutions
"The Clock Tower"
1001 Washington Street
Conshohocken, PA 19428

BY CERTIFIED MAIL

Dear Mort & John,

As you are aware, you were ordered by New York Civil Court on Jan. 13 to pay me $3,217.50, and you had 30 days to do so.

Your lawyer Mr. Rothbaum has since then made many attempts to reach me personally by phone, leaving messages on my home answering machine at least a dozen times asking that I call back.

We finally connected recently, and I learned what it was he had been at such pains to avoid putting in writing. Speaking on your behalf, he warned I would have difficulty collecting on the Court's judgment, and proposed a "settlement" of $1500.

In other words: You are defying the judgment of the Court, reached after a thorough and impartial hearing at which you were represented by Rick Mohr, a company principal, and by legal counsel.

With this step, you enter a different kind of territory.

You can plead ignorance of the Titanic-like monstrosity you have built at NBC. Your client may awaken to what you have done for them after the structure is completely submerged, but I imagine your contract with NBC shields you from liability and protects the rich profits you have derived from scores of wasted man-years.

With your instructions to Mr. Rothbaum, however, you are openly and deliberately putting yourselves above the law. I hope you are aware of the seriousness of what you have told your compliant lawyer to do on your behalf.

I am sending this by certified mail to confirm your position as voiced to me by Mr. Rothbaum. If there is any "misunderstanding", please be so good as to promptly remit the entire amount ordered by the Court.

Yours sincerely,

Uriel Wittenberg

c.c. John Lowe
Rick Mohr
Yoyi Fernandez